Aug. 30th 2003 My Beautiful Baby Girl was born. I got to hold her for about 5 minutes do to everyone else with soo much excitement wanting to hold her. I never thought nothing of it. I finally got her in my arms and began to look at my Beautiful, Perfect lil girl and then something wasnt soo perfect???? she wasnt breathing right? the nurse came in and I asked her about Destinys breathing. She said let me take her out and check her and make sure everything is ok. SO once again didnt think nothing of it. 30 minutes later they come in sayin that my PRECIOUS baby wasnt breathing she had stopped several times and they were having to pump oxygen to her. They didnt have ne beds open at one hospital soo she had to be shipped the opposite direction to another hospital to get the Help she needed. Now remember I held my daughter for maybe 5 minutes if I was lucky!!!!!!!!!! My Dr was such a Saint that day and let me and my hubby go ahead and follow the Ambulance down to be with my daughter as long as I promised to BE SAFE and not over do ne thing since I just had her. Destiny was born at 3;30pm on the 30th and she wasnt stable until almost 3am that morning. LIFE SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!!! was the only thing keeping my baby alive. At the time I didnt reallly realize it was life support which I no sounds stupid!!!!!! but Im totalllly glad I didnt realize it I think it would of made my worries alot worse!!!!!!! My hubby had to go back to our home town to take care of arrangements for our oldest son, and where he was going to continue to stay. A wk had passed and it was time for my Baby Girl to be taken of life support. The Dr said if she stops breathing just give her a lil nudge not hard just a lil to get her to wake up a lil bit and to breath on her own. I thought ok......... I can do that. He turned around to take her off the machine and she stopped breathing. I poked this man in the back soo hard I no he had a bruise ummmmmmmmmm EXCUSE ME he said its ok just nudge her a bit mom and she will be ok, I thought once again ok............ I can do this. Turning around again the doctor was workin on the machine and once again my baby wasnt breathing.......... Poke POKE POOOOOOKE in the pour Dr's back again!!!!!!!! Remember what I said mom just nudge soo finallly after it seemed like FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!! (really just few mins) we got her stable without the breathing machine. She started to eat and she started to doin well enough to get to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We still had a long Journey ahead of us we just didnt no it yet! Destiny was Diagnoised with Respiratory Distress Syndrome at the hospital her lungs just didnt develop they had no reason why. She was full term. Over the months after bringing her home she would cry NON STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! soo the dr's thought she had collic. We gave her meds for this and gave her meds, diff kinds of meds. Nothing ever helped!!!!!!!!!! I can remember goin to families homes for holiday visits and I would literally just falllllllllll OVER asleep and they would take her and watch her for me while I slept I just couldnt stay awake. I would go days and days without sleep. I would be at my moms and we would be having a full conversation and then Id wake up!!! LOL and still be talkin about the stuff we were talking about but mom would be gone I had fell over asleep on her.
Months and Months went by and I just kept sayin to my husband something isnt right? I no something is wrong. No one would listen to me sooo as a mom I kept goin on and on and on. Sitting every single day with this screaming, crying child and there were days I would sit and cry with her. She was soo delayed in everything, Walking,Talking,Sitting, EVERYTHING!!!! By now Destiny was 18mths old. I kept taking her to every single dr I could get in contact with until someone would help me. Finally got her into first steps because of her delays!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK GOD for 1st Steps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats where everything began to come into place.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Destiny was Diagnoised in 05 on the Autims Spectrum Disorder. I will never forget the day I got Destinys Diagnoises.............. Your daughter is on the ASD spectrum all I could think, alll I could feel was OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I thought I prepared myself for this I had heard the dr's and nurses say stuff about Autism I read up on it I researched it. I knew I was prepared!!!!!!!!! RIGHT?????????? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! you will NEVER be prepared for someone to take ur child from you!!!!!!! Yea I said it right Take my Daughter from me. All I could think was I cant fix this, I cant kiss this boo boo and make it go away, She cant have surgery and it will get better, She can take meds but it dont go away!!!!!!! What do I do? How do I handle this? I kept my composure until I left the building!!!!!!!!! Once I left I just bursted out with tears, Cryin soo much I had never cried soo much. For almost a week I was soooooooooooooooo LOST!!!!!!!! soo SCARED sooooooooooooo UPSET!!!!!!! I didnt no what to do I was already Depressed because she sat and cried all the time. I was done I had GAVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then one morning I got up and I was a totallly different person!!!!! I knew I had to get up BE A MOMMY!!!!!!!! not only to Destiny but to my oldest son as well!!! I knew that I was the only one that could help her totally. That could get her the help she needed. That could make ppl understand what she needed and how she needed it! I had started lookin up not really looking up as in a good thing but not as depressed, Feeling better and knowing what I needed to do. I wasnt going to let this get me down I was going to do everything in my power and in my will that I could to get my baby help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Destiny was diagnoised at first with PDD-NOS(pervasive development disorder-not other wise specified) she then was reevaluated 3yrs later and she was diagnoised with Aspergers which is a higher functioning Autism.
Over the years b4 her 2nd eval. We did Therapies, OT,PT,Speech, she had a dietician because she was soooooooooooo malnutrientioned because of her sensory issues. She had Sensory Intergration which is something that is always hard to explain at times. The way I always tell ppl is its like u have a apple pie u urself can see,taste,smell and feel its an apple pie Destiny cant do all those things at once!!!!!!! I no that probally sounds silly but that was my way of explaining!!!! We did alllllll the therapies until Des was 3 then she transitioned over into school!!!!!!!!! B4 we ever got that far I just want to Explain to Everyone!!!!!!!!!!! how hard it reallly was to be a Parent of a lower functioning child!!!!!!! and that I give KUDOS to those parents who do it every single day and to those parents who have more than ONE CHILD with Autism!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS U EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a typical day for NON-VERBAL Destiny, She would cry non stop alll day everyday!!!!!!! She would kick and scream like she wanted me to pick her up sooo I would pick her up, As soon as I picked her up I was beat to DEATH! by my own precious lil girl! she doesnt no what shes doin but yet I cant sit here and let her headbutt me and Kick me and hit me soo I put her down!!!!!!! This was an on going thing to do everyday, every hour on the hour with her for THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! She played in her stool she played in her urine EVERY single diaper !!!!!!!!!!! and ne one that has kids no how many times a child Poops and pee's. She was soooooooo upset all the time and didnt want clothes on at allllllll because of her sensory issues. Clothes bothered her she hated them!!!!!!!! I didnt want to ever leave the house because when we would go to Walmart or Wendy's wherever she would be screaming and crying and ppl would stare!!!!!!! They would look at me and my family like we had just beat the holy bajesus outta my daughter and u no what we hadnt touched her at all!!!!!!!!!!!! People would come up to me and ask me what was wrong with her, I didnt no how to explain to them at first what was wrong and Id just say she autistic and she has these break downs but she is fine, They would say ohhh ok shes RETARDED!!!!!!!!! and this is why I hate this word!!!!! ppl can be sooooooooooo CRUEL!!!!!!!!!!!! Open ur eyes ppl and realize what u say b4 u say!!!!!!!!! think about what u are saying b4 u say it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I stopped goin out as much with Destiny for my feelings and hers!!!!!!!!!! I knew she could hear ppl and I knew she could see ppl, and I didnt want her to hear that ignorance!!!!!!!!!!
I am proud to say that Destiny Railynn has come soooooooooooooo far in just her 8yrs of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shes a Beautiful, Talented, Sweet and loving lil girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She loves to dance, sing,draw and ne thing to do with music. I love when I go in and I talk to teachers at her school and they tell me that she has come so far that they can see shes come sooo far!!!!!!!!!! Because Im not the only one Destiny has touched in this world and I wont be the last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I no I have been soo random and all over the place with this Blog but I just want u to no that for 1. A mothers love is the best love u could ever have!!!!!!!!!!! 2. Autism has touched my family and we want to help get the awareness out!!!!!! 3. Dont use ignorance!!!! think b4 you speak. 4. I love my children with all my heart and I will keep fighting until we can do something for all the families struggling!!!!!! 5. Help us get the Awareness out!!!!!!!
